Wednesday, February 23, 2011

being fem

I was about 9 or 10 and would usually spend my time indoors I loved reading my mum’s women’s magazines. I loved the pictures of these women in the sexiest, feminine lingerie and their stockings. I was quite small built and had very feminine features like my hands are feet were narrow slender and small, I had curvy full lips, slender rather feminine arms and legs. I liked keeping my hair long parted in the middle. I had narrow hips with slightly bigger hipbones making it slightly curvy and I had a very small thing.
One evening I was just rummaging in my mummies closet and I find this stash of stockings and pantyhose in different colors and designs. I started to feel a rush I locked the door and undressed exposing my feminine body and started to roll up the stockings I tried a couple of them swaying my hips posing in different ways in front of the mirror. I just love how the soft nylon on my legs. This went on for quite some time and I would just love to be alone at home trying on my mother’s hosiery sometimes a little lipstick a bra, a short tight mini which I had improvised since I had small feet I didn’t have a problem in her heels which is the same right now.  
Then I had a room of my own then I would usually have a few pairs of stockings pantyhose hidden in the room sometimes a slip or a nighty, and as soon as every one turned their lights out I would begin feminizing myself with the stockings, slips, panties, bra, I would look at the mirror and would make feminine gestures more of flirtatious, walk swaying my hips lying on the bed with on leg over the other sideways the nylons rubbing against each other and running my hands over my thighs, back caressing it in a feminine way. This too went on and became a part of my life. I would run home from school and would quickly undress and slip into a pair of tights, pantyhose mostly tan, and then I would recline on the bed and call my maid. I would have a shirt on top covering my middle. I don’t know what I was thinking then. She would just take or clean something I would be pretending to read and leave. I was home once and in my mother’s room I began being my girly self so I put on a black pair of pantyhose with slight patterns it was gorgeous, then I put on a bra and stuffed it with rolled up socks then I put on satin slip. I sat at the dressing table and began putting on some make up a pink lipstick some eye liner and mascara, my hair pulled up except a few strands over my sides. I was posing and modeling in front of the mirror being my most feminine girly self. I was looking for something to wear in her closet and suddenly my maid walked I couldn’t let her see my like this so I hid behind the cupboard door which only covered a little above the ankles I was on my toes in my small girly feet in stockings, she said something about how she thought was a woman’s leg said something about how girlish I looked. In my haste I put on a jumper and went to her and told her not to tell mum about this, she did.
Then once my mother found a pair of her dark blue nylon pantyhose hidden under my bed, I just shrugged it pretend not to know what happened. Even in school I didn’t have the macho image I was rather seen as somewhat feminine where boys would often call me baby or kiss me call me their girl and tease me like that. I just played along. I was attracted to girls like any other guy but I would always observe their clothes starting with the feet I would feel a rush if it was clad in stockings I would notice how they would sit with their legs curled up or reclining stroking one feet with another. I had an aunt she was quite attractive and had a good taste in clothes she had lots of heels in all styles her make was always immaculately and tastefully stylish and her feet were very feminine and small which I would notice as she would sometimes show of her new shoe. I would spend my Sundays at her place and we usually would be alone in the bed watching a movie or just television and sometimes we would sit close together covering our legs in a blanket sometimes at her feet she sometimes play footsie and I used to get a rush the way her slender immaculately manicured painted toe nails sometimes in stockings sometimes not. I also would spend a lot of my time with my sister my aunts daughter she was much elder than me she was quite tall and she would usually be in her tights with a long shirt or sometimes dark lycra slacks which looked more like tights we would watch movies or sometimes just talk since our birthdays are just a day apart we had quite a few things in common. We would take walks arm in arm or cuddle up in bed. She had lots of stockings and tights and I would when I would get the chance slip into and wear pants on top. And we would watching the tele sitting closely her legs curled up in my thighs her front was facing my side we our like two girls our face would be inches apart and I would feel so girly I would love it. I had a friend named Sonia we stayed close by and I would go and play with her gosh I was so girly even then, we would role play since she slightly bigger and taller than me I would usually have to play the girl I was very submissive and I would wear her clothes at her demand and she would direct me to walk with my arm around hers we would dance my face coming to her chin dressed in girls clothes my hands around her neck and hers on my small waist we would sleep and she would kiss me goodbye as she pretended to go to work so sometimes I would have to kiss her. We would play hide and seek sometimes we would hide together in the closet when someone came in and we had forgotten to lock it we would be huddled up together holding hands whispering into each others faces. Her house was huge and she was the only daughter her father was a fit smart good looking with a very manly posture and body and her mother was voluptuous dark with short curvy hair very feminine would always call her husband darling. Sonia and me would be cuddled in the bed watching girly movies, sometimes we would all sit together in the bed our thighs pressed against each other our feet touching, gosh he was so manly and I used to feel like one of the girls.
I still loved to be feminine even though I had girlfriends had crushes hung around with the guys I was in touch with my feminine side very often my friends were mostly macho and I was always the thin one I wasn’t comfortable getting undressed in front of them somewhat embarrassed to show my feminine body and I wasn’t really big down there, I would use just three fingers when I relieved myself. I would usually do it dressed or at least in hose and heels. This went on through out my school life I went around a bit but I still continued my cross-dressing. I loved the thought of me being a woman fully dressed with feminine gestures walking with short steps swishing my hips lips pouty since I spent a lot of time with women or girls the mannerisms came naturally and I could easily pass as a woman I resembled my mother and so even without make up I was always commented on my curvy full pink lips my dark lashed eyes my long hair my small built.  A few girls I used to think I was gay or rather teased me and I’ve never quite aggressive I was always a little submissive. I loved how the tights they wore specially in the winters I would notice them walk lifting up their skirt a little bit when walking uphill or climbing stairs. I would imitate them or just be a blend of all the female sides. Since I’m not that big I’m around 5’ 8’’ 55 kgs almost 120 pounds I think. So I didn’t have a problem fitting into my sisters or my mother’s my aunts clothes, shoes, dresses, lingerie, hosiery. I would buy some myself mostly hose, tights, stockings, body stockings, a lacy black bra which went around my slender narrow shoulders to my back arching a prominent beauty bone with my thing tucked under my lacy panties my fishnet body stocking hugging my feminine body then I would slip on to some heels I love how my toes peeked in open toed hi heel sandals. This went for quite a while to my twenties and now I experimented with make up making conversations at the mirror flirting, being sensuous arching my back posing in different ways it came naturally as soon as I slip into the hose I’m all girl.
To be continued

Then I moved out and lived with a guy my flat mate, he was tall largely built with hair on his chest a deep drawl, broad shoulders with large hands and narrow hips. He was all man and I was the opposite I was rather lean with narrow shoulders waist taprering in and slightly large hips I had a small chest and a slender narrow neck which ended in my weak feminine chin.  I had long thick dark hair, which came up to my shoulders. I was shy getting undressed in front of him where he would be in his shorts and bare chest, my feet and legs looked especially small and feminine we didn’t talk much just the small talk it was his birthday and he wanted to do something in the room. I didn’t have any plans and I was in my room curled up in tan stockings attached to lacey black garters with lacy panties and a bra I had a pink sheer teddy with lace outlines I was reading a woman’s magazine. My friend Tim didn’t know about my hobby or my feminine side. He did make me feel a little girly in front of him but that was it. I heard someone come it I thought I had locked my door but before I could turn the page someone turned the knob in my door and Tim stood there in his tight jeans and a tight t shirt flaunting his muscles and there I was curled up in the sofa with some music playing dressed up like a girl I had make up on and my hair fell one side of my face which I had to push with my small delicate nails painted red, my lipstick felt wet as I pouted I tried to hide myself with my hands covering with one hand my bra and the other hand on my sides of my thighs clad in stockings. I looked even more feminine and I was embarrassed at the same time excitedly nervous. He seemed a little different and I could see that he had had a couple of drinks. I said “what are you doing here Tim darling” gosh I sounded like his girlfriend or his wife, I don’t know where the darling came from. He walked up to me and sat beside me, we were touching our bodies, he looked at me my face flushed I was still curled up and he was next to me my stocking knee was on his thigh, he ran his large hands over my knee to my thighs. He looked at me and said what I called myself I said Sonia. He looked at me from my toes painted in red with the nylons covering it up to my thighs my bottom then my hips curved as I arched my back my breast perked up to my mouth my eyes painted with some mascara eye shadow, my lips glittered in the pink lip gloss I had on I was smooth all over. He told me I looked very pretty and how he though I really was a girl, I felt my stomach turn then I he was silent and then he looked down at me and said he just broke up with his girlfriend, I knew her and she was a nice feminine pretty girl.
He seemed a little hurt and I didn’t know what to do.
He had his face in his hands and was facing down I didn’t have enough room to get up so I was compelled to sit like that like a girl in lacy lingerie make up and a hair done in a feminine way. I put my right hand on his shoulder and the other on his bare arms my nails glittered and I was reminded that I was sitting huddled up against my wearing stockings bra panties and a see through negligee I was acting like a girl.
He sat up and looked at me my hands were in his arm resting there lightly his muscular leg was touching my slender stockinged leg. My hands move to his chest slowly I didn’t know what I doing. I was trying to comfort him but I was doing it like a girl and I wasn’t I was a feminine boy who just loved being girly and dress up.